The morning light filtered through the venetian blinds, casting striped shadows across my bedroom. I stood before the full-length mirror, performing the ritual that had become as natural as breathing. My reflection stared back—a face too pretty for a man, with features that belonged on a porcelain doll. High cheekbones, full lips, and eyes that held a perpetual softness I had learned to hate and love in equal measure.
Today's armor began with the black lace. The bra hugged my flat chest, its cups empty but somehow still right. The stockings rolled up my long, slender legs, stopping mid-thigh where they met the garter belt. I ran my fingers over the smooth fabric, feeling the familiar thrill that always accompanied this secret preparation.
The butt plug was next. I had grown accustomed to its presence over the past few months, but the initial insertion still made me gasp. Cold silicone giving way to warm flesh. I pressed it in, feeling it settle deep inside me, a constant reminder of my hidden nature. The remote was small, innocuous—a black rectangle that held so much power over my body. I slipped it into my pocket, feeling its weight like a talisman.
Then came the male uniform. Khaki chinos that did nothing to hide the curve of my hips. A white button-down that strained slightly across my narrow shoulders. The blazer completed the disguise, adding bulk to my frame, hiding the delicate silhouette beneath. I examined myself in the mirror—the counselor, professional, trustworthy, ordinary.
But I knew what lurked beneath. The black lace that peeked out if I bent too low. The stockings that whispered against my skin with every step. The plug that made me achingly aware of my own body.
I arrived at the university with minutes to spare, my heels clicking against the linoleum hallway. Not heels—shoes. Men's shoes. I had to remind myself. The classroom was already half-full when I entered, students chatting or staring at their phones.
"Good morning, everyone," I said, setting down my materials on the lectern. "Today we're going to discuss professional ethics in counseling."
My voice was steady, controlled. The same voice I used every day. But beneath that calm exterior, I felt the plug shift slightly as I moved, a reminder of what I truly was.
The lecture progressed normally at first. I moved through the material, my body responding to training and routine. But about twenty minutes in, I needed to write something on the whiteboard. I turned, reached up, and felt my shirt rise slightly as my arm extended.
I didn't see the flash of black lace at my waist. I didn't see Chen Gang's eyes lock onto it in the third row.
But later, I would replay that moment countless times.
Chen Gang was unremarkable in every way. Overweight, with a rough, pitted face and small eyes that seemed to miss nothing. He sat in the back of my classes, never spoke, never asked questions. I had assumed he was just another disinterested student, killing time until graduation.
I had been wrong.
He watched me that day with new eyes. The glimpse of lace had been brief, but it had burned itself into his memory. He saw the way I moved, the subtle sway of my hips that I couldn't quite suppress. He saw the delicate arch of my wrist, the way my fingers curled around the marker. He began to piece together the picture.
I continued the class, oblivious to his scrutiny. I talked about boundaries, about professionalism, about the importance of maintaining appropriate relationships with clients. The irony would have made me sick if I had known.
By the end of the lecture, I was eager for the bathroom. The plug had been pressing against my prostate for over an hour, and the constant stimulation was making me lightheaded. I gathered my materials quickly, ignoring the students who lingered to ask questions.
"Dr. Lin?" A voice called out.
I turned, forcing a smile. "Yes?"
It was a female student, her face creased with concern. "I wanted to ask about the assignment..."
I nodded, listening, but my mind was elsewhere. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, trying to find a position that would ease the pressure. The plug seemed to grow larger with every passing second.
"Just email me," I said, cutting her off. "I have another appointment."
I slipped out of the classroom, my legs trembling slightly. The bathroom was at the end of the hall, and I walked as quickly as I dared, my heels clicking an impatient rhythm. I pushed open the door, grateful for the empty room, and made my way to the farthest stall.
My hands shook as I unbuttoned my pants. I reached into my pocket for the remote, meaning to adjust the settings, to turn it off for a few hours so I could function. My fingers closed around empty fabric.
Panic flooded through me.
I patted my pockets, my jacket, my pants. Nothing. The remote was gone. I retraced my steps in my mind—the lectern, the whiteboard, the hallway. Had I dropped it in the classroom? No, I would have noticed. The bathroom? I had touched it when I entered the building, checking that it was still there. I remembered the weight in my hand, the smooth plastic.
I must have dropped it during the lecture. Or maybe earlier, in the hallway. The thought made my blood run cold. Someone could have found it. Someone could have seen it, recognized it for what it was.
I finished my business quickly, ignoring the plug that pulsed inside me, taunting me with my vulnerability. I left the stall, washed my hands, and stared at my reflection in the mirror. The face that looked back was still handsome, still composed. But behind the eyes, I could see the fear.
My next class was in ten minutes. I had no choice but to continue, to pretend that everything was normal, that I hadn't just lost a piece of the machinery that maintained my carefully constructed life.
Back in the hallway, I felt naked without the remote in my pocket. Exposed. The plug was still inside me, silent for now, but who knew when someone would find its controller? Who knew what they would do with it?
I took a deep breath, straightened my blazer, and walked into my next classroom.
Chen Gang sat in the back row.
He was never in this class. He was registered for my earlier session, the one on professional ethics. This was a different course, for different students. But there he was, slumped in his chair, his small eyes fixed on me.
I tried to ignore him, focusing on my material. I was teaching psychology of human sexuality, which made the situation almost unbearable. Every time I said a word like "desire" or "control," I felt the heat rise in my cheeks.
The plug remained silent.
I began to relax. Maybe it hadn't been lost. Maybe it had fallen into a crack, a corner where no one would find it. Maybe I would be able to retrieve it after class, before anyone noticed.
Then the vibrations started.
It was low at first, a barely perceptible hum that made my thighs clench. I gasped, grabbing the edge of the lectern to steady myself. The students looked up, curious.
"Sorry," I managed, my voice strained. "I just... remembered something I need to check. Give me a moment."
I fumbled with my phone, pretending to read a message, but my mind was entirely focused on the sensations between my legs. The plug was pulsing with a steady, rhythmic vibration, sliding against my prostate in a way that made my knees weak.
It was on a preset pattern. I recognized it because I had programmed it myself. The first setting was low, teasing, designed to arouse without overwhelming. It was a setting I usually used when I was alone, when I could surrender to the feelings without fear of discovery.
But I was not alone.
I scanned the room, trying to see if anyone was watching me strangely. Most students were focused on their notebooks or phones. But Chen Gang's eyes were fixed on me, his lips curved into a small, cold smile.
The vibrations stopped.
I exhaled, relief washing over me. But then they started again, stronger this time. The second setting. Higher intensity, faster rhythm. I bit my lip to keep from moaning, my hands gripping the lectern so hard that my knuckles turned white.
"You okay, Dr. Lin?" a student asked from the front row.
"Fine," I said, my voice coming out as a croak. "Just... a little dizzy. Please continue reading from page forty-two. I'll be right back."
I turned and fled, my legs barely supporting me. The vibrations continued, relentless, pushing me toward a peak I couldn't afford to reach. I stumbled into the hallway, leaning against the wall for support.
The bathroom. I had to get to the bathroom.
But the vibrations stopped again, and I was left panting, confused, and terrified. I looked up to see Chen Gang emerging from the classroom. He walked past me without a word, his hand in his pocket.
I watched him disappear around the corner, my heart pounding in my chest.
He knew. He had the remote.
I had seen the bulge in his pocket, the shape of it pressing against the fabric. He had taken it from the bathroom, had recognized it for what it was, and had decided to test his theory.
And I had failed the test.
I returned to the classroom, my body shaking, my mind racing. I tried to continue the lecture, but my thoughts were elsewhere. I wondered what he would do next. Would he confront me? Would he expose me? Would he use the remote to control me, to humiliate me in front of everyone?
The thought should have filled me with horror. And it did. But beneath that fear, buried deep in the shame, there was something else. A flicker of excitement. A spark of anticipation.
I had always dreamed of being controlled. Of having someone take the remote from my hands, take the decisions from my mind, take everything from me until I was nothing but a vessel for their pleasure. I had imagined it a thousand times, alone in my apartment, my fingers working between my legs as I pictured faceless figures commanding me.
But now it was real.
I finished the class in a daze, my body still humming with the residual vibrations. The plug had gone silent, but I could feel it inside me, a physical reminder of what had happened. I gathered my materials and left, half-expecting Chen Gang to be waiting for me in the hallway.
He wasn't.
I walked toward the faculty office, my legs weak, my mind a storm of fear and desire. I should have gone to the bathroom to remove the plug. I should have ended this before it went any further.
But I didn't.
Instead, I let myself savor the feeling. The subtle pressure, the awareness of my own body, the knowledge that someone else now held the key to my pleasure and pain. It was terrifying and exhilarating in equal measure.
I was about to enter the office when the vibrations started again.
I stopped, my hand frozen on the door handle. The plug was pulsing with a slow, deliberate rhythm, like someone was testing its limits. I looked around frantically, trying to see if anyone was watching.
And I saw him.
Chen Gang stood at the end of the hallway, his hand in his pocket, his eyes fixed on me. He pressed something, and the vibrations increased. I gasped, my knees buckling, my hand still clutching the door handle.
He smiled.
It was the smile of a predator who had just cornered its prey. Cold, calculating, and utterly in control.
The vibrations stopped, and he turned and walked away, disappearing into the stairwell.
I stood there for a long moment, my body trembling, my mind reeling. I should have been angry. I should have been afraid. And I was, a part of me was. But there was also a part of me that was thrilled, that was aroused, that wanted more.
I opened the door and entered the office, my legs barely supporting me. My colleagues looked up, but I waved them off, claiming a headache. I sat at my desk, my body still humming with the aftershocks of the encounter.
The plug was silent now, but I could feel it waiting, patient, ready to respond to the next command from its new master.
I should have gone to the bathr
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