The morning sunlight slants through the venetian blinds, striping the lecture hall in pale gold and shadow. Standing at the podium, I smooth the front of my white dress shirt, feeling the familiar tightness of the lace bra beneath against my chest. The underwire digs in gently, a constant reminder of the secret I carry beneath this respectable facade. My slacks are tailored, but I know the lines of the black garter belt pressing against my thighs when I move.
The classroom buzzes with the low murmur of students settling in. I glance at the clock—8:47 AM, three minutes before the bell. My heart is already racing, but not from the lecture ahead. This morning, I chose the black lace set: a delicate balconette bra that makes my small chest look softly full, matching high-waist panties that hug the curve of my hips, and thigh-high stockings held up by the garters. And beneath everything, the silicone plug—cool and smooth when I inserted it an hour ago, now warmed to my body temperature. It rests against the deepest part of me, a token of anticipation I have worn all morning.
I turn to write the day’s topic on the whiteboard—Psychological Dynamics in Adolescent Development—and as I stretch to reach the top, I feel my shirt lift at the back. The fabric catches, and I know a sliver of skin is exposed. I freeze for a moment, my pulse quickening, but I force myself to continue writing. It’s nothing, I tell myself. Just a brief flash of waist. No one noticed.
But in the third row, near the window, a pair of eyes does not look away. I feel his gaze like a physical weight, and when I glance back over my shoulder, I see him—a heavy-set male student, plain-faced, with an unremarkable cap pulled low. He is staring directly at the small of my back, where the shirt still clings to the top edge of my stockings. The black lace must have been visible for a fraction of a second. My stomach drops.
I finish writing and turn to face the class, forcing a neutral expression. “Today we’ll be covering attachment theory in late adolescence,” I say, my voice steady despite the tremor inside me. “Please open your textbooks to chapter twelve.”
The student—I don’t know his name yet, though I’ve seen him in this class before—lowers his eyes slowly, but not before I catch the faintest curve of his lips. It’s not a smile, not quite. It’s the expression of someone who has just filed away a piece of useful information. My skin prickles.
I launch into the lecture, my words automatic, my mind elsewhere. The stockings feel tighter now, as if the scrutiny has made them more real. Every time I move, I imagine the students seeing through my clothes, imagining the layers beneath. The bra straps press into my shoulders, and I adjust my collar, hoping no one notices the slight bulge of the underwire.
The class drags on. I pace the front of the room, trying to keep my body turned away from the windows, away from that student’s seat. But somehow, he seems to be everywhere. I catch his eyes in my periphery when I turn to the board, when I look down at my notes, when I pause to sip water. He is watching, always watching, with a stillness that unnerves me.
By the time the bell rings, I am sweating through my shirt. I dismiss the class with a curt nod and hurry to gather my materials, feeling the plug shift with each hurried step. I need to leave this room, need to breathe.
But before I go, I see him—that student—still seated, lingering as he packs his bag slowly. Our eyes meet for an instant, and he nods once, casually, as if nothing has happened. I turn away and almost run out the door.
---
The afternoon passes in a blur of office appointments and meetings. I am distractedly checking email when I realize I need to use the restroom before my next lecture. The faculty bathroom is on the second floor, but the nearest one is the student restroom on the third floor, near the lecture hall. I hesitate—faculty bathrooms are safer, but I am short on time.
I push open the door to the student restroom. It is empty, but the far stall is closed. I choose the next one, lock the door, and let out a shaky breath. The plug pulses gently inside me, a reminder of the secret weight I carry. I lean against the tiled wall, closing my eyes, trying to center myself.
When I finish, I quickly adjust my clothes. My hand brushes the remote control in my pocket—the small plastic device that operates the plug. I had intended to turn it off before class, but I had been flustered. Now, in my haste, I pull it from my pocket to check the settings. It is still on the lowest vibration.
I hear a flush from the far stall, and my heart jumps. Someone is here. I quickly stuff the remote into my pocket, but it slips, clattering onto the floor. I scramble to pick it up, shove it back into my pocket, and unlock the stall door just as a student walks out of the far stall. It is him—the heavy-set student from the morning class.
He pauses, our eyes meeting again. He is washing his hands at the sink, and I can feel his gaze slide over me, lingering for a fraction of a second too long. I smile weakly, mutter “Excuse me,” and rush out the door.
I don’t realize until I am halfway to the lecture hall that the remote is no longer in my pocket. It must have fallen out when I snatched for it. I stop dead in the hallway, my blood turning cold. I pat my pockets frantically, but it is gone. The plug is still inside me, inert for now, but the remote is somewhere in that bathroom.
I consider going back, but the next class is about to start. I am already late. I weigh the risk—someone might find it, but perhaps they will just throw it away. Or perhaps they will recognize it. I try to calm myself, but my hands are shaking as I step into the lecture hall.
---
This class is larger—about sixty students. I take my place at the podium, forcing a confident pose. The plug is silent now, and I begin my lecture on Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development. My voice sounds thin to my own ears, but I press on.
Ten minutes in, I feel a faint hum deep inside me.
My knees buckle. I grip the edge of the podium, gasping silently. The buzz is low and steady, a gentle pulse that starts and stops, then starts again. My mind freezes. The remote—someone has found it. And they are pressing the button.
I scan the room, trying to see if anyone is watching me. But the students are taking notes, their heads down. I feel my face flush, the heat spreading across my cheeks and down my neck. The vibration strengthens, moving from low to medium. My thighs press together involuntarily.
I try to continue speaking, but my words stumble. “In E-Erikson’s… in stage five… identity versus role confusion…” The buzz stops for a moment, then resumes at high—a sharp, insistent pulse that makes me gasp out loud. A few students look up, and I force a cough to cover my sound.
I grip the podium harder, my knuckles white. The plug rubs against the most sensitive spot inside me, and I feel moisture gathering in my panties. I am both terrified and aroused. The shame is a hot wave, but beneath it, there is a secret thrill—the knowledge that someone is controlling me, that they are watching my reaction.
I lift my head, trying to see who it might be. And then I spot him—the student from the morning, sitting in the very back row, his cap pulled low, his phone in his hand. He is not looking at the phone screen, though. He is looking at me, and his mouth is curved in a smirk.
Our eyes meet for a split second. I freeze, and the buzz intensifies again. I have to look away, biting my lip to suppress a moan. My legs are shaking. I cannot stand much longer.
I lean against the podium, my voice cracking. “Let’s… let’s take a five-minute break,” I manage to say. “Stretch your legs.”
Without waiting for a response, I turn and walk toward the door, my steps unsteady. I feel the plug continue to throb in irregular pulses—he must be pressing the button, experimenting. Each jolt makes me stumble, and I have to hold onto the doorframe to steady myself.
I make it to the hallway, and the buzzing stops. I stand there, panting, my forehead slick with sweat. I should go back. I should find the remote. But I don’t. I am frozen in place, wanting to escape, yet feeling an ache of disappointment that it has stopped.
---
When the break is over, I force myself back into the classroom. The evening session shows no sign of his presence, and I manage to finish the lecture without incident. But as I gather my things to leave, I feel the plug vibrate once more—a long, deep hum that makes my thighs quiver.
I look around, but I don’t see him. I hurry out of the classroom, my bag clutched to my chest. The vibration stops as I cross the threshold, then starts again just as I step into the hallway.
I am walking now, and the buzz comes in random intervals. A pulse when I reach the stairs, making me grab the railing. A longer hum as I start to descend, forcing me to pause, my legs weak. I bite my lip, willing myself to stay upright. A moan escapes me, and I cover my mouth, my face burning.
Behind me, I hear footsteps. I don’t turn around. I know it is him. I feel his presence like a heat against my back. He is following me, pressing the button, watching me tremble.
I take a step, and the buzz strikes again—a deep, vibrating pulse that makes me gasp. My knees give way for a moment, and I lean against the wall, my breath ragged. The footsteps stop behind me. I can almost feel his breath.
“Are you okay, Professor?” His voice is casual, almost mocking.
I nod, not trusting my voice. “I’m fine. Thank you.”
I push away from the wall and walk faster, but the vibrations follow me, teasing, testing. They stop when I reach the first floor, and I hear the footsteps turn and fade in the opposite direction.
I stand in the empty hallway, my body trembling, the plug still warm inside me. I should go to the restroom and remove it. I should find the remote. But instead, I lean against the wall and let out a shaky sigh, feeling a strange, perverse excitement curl in my stomach.
Someone has seen me. Someone has touched me. And for a moment, I feel more alive than I have in weeks.
I stay like that for a long time, my heart racing, my cheeks flushed, my body aching for more. I know this is dangerous. I know I should stop. But I don’t. I can’t. Because deep down, I have been waiting for someone to find me, to claim me, to take control.
And now, someone has.
I walk out of the building into the cool night air, the plug silent inside me. I don’t know when he will press the button again. I don’t know when the next tremor will come. And that uncertainty thrills me more than I can say.
I go home, undress slowly, and lie on my bed, my hand resting over the plug’s base. I wait. I listen. I hope.
Tomorrow, I will go back to the bathroom and look for the remote. But a part of me—the part that has always wanted to be seen, to be known, to be controlled—hopes it is gone. That he has kept it. That he is waiting for me.
The silence stretches on, thick with anticipation. And I smile in the dark, my body humming with a need I cannot name.